Dream

I had a dream last night that I was really sick (along with an ex of mine-who after 17 years I'm still uneasy with in my head, let alone us holding the same physical space).

There was a man there who was going to help us with the sickness by injecting some medication into our inner ears, this medication would kill us.

The injection was so vivid and I remember it not hurting at all and being happy, then contemplating and understanding death was about to not hurt at all either and I was really happy and relaxed. The Ex feel into a slumber and died as I watched wondering why I wasn't dying yet....

Did I get the same injection? Was there someone else's plan working through me?

Then my dad rolled up to check on me and make sure  I was safe and we drive off together....

R.I.P. Dad
ENJOY the spacelessness.
We ALL will be there ONE day.

No one ever told us this was easy...If the did they LIED.

To do it right means being pushed to your edges. Adaptation.

I know when I see it done in a way I would NEVER have dreamt.

Breathe...

My heart aches for those victims whose situations were caused by negative self esteem-STRESS.
I am making the choice to never mirror that!

Breathe...

The force is always with him,

I just try to hang out as close as I can.

I use him as a barometer,

he helps with the direction once I let go .

Moving forward.
when the space opens for healing and progress
activation must take place
It is etheral.

Wondering around in this plane,
this space/ feeling/ motivation/ windhorse
is what quenches my desire.

It always comes on time.

Thank You.

I Love You ALL

My family...

I never imagined it would be sooo fucking sweet...

I breathe in ... all the pain of the human experience...

I breathe out....wanting nothing more than the highest...

Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole LYRICS

This is a song my father selected for his funeral .

32 cyles

I have cycled 32 times around the earth. I am not sure it is getting any easier.
I didn't come here for the ease and luxuries of life on earth I came to experience the contrast this place has to offer.
I offer up a new layer to be stripped away each year where innocent flesh is exposed to elements  teaching me more about where I need to grow, let go, love, and forgive. This cycle is starting off intense.

I feel I will have a long life on this earth unlike my father.
Today is his funeral and I guess I realized I am unsure of the edict one must have at attending a parents funeral. My mother is alive and well-no lessons learned there.

I AM NERVOUS...SCARED...SAD...

What about when it is all over and the people file out of the funeral home and continue on with their regular daily life....It will be like he never existed....

The Contrast. This place moves very fast.

Perhaps I will light a candle each year at the time of his death to commemorate his exiting.
10/31/10 @ 1:48am.